So many of us have trouble setting boundaries. Whether it's saying no to too others or keeping promises we've made to ourselves like reducing our sugar consumption. Over the past few years I've talked to hundreds of people about their health challenges and the thing that seems to come up again and again is boundaries. I think our lack of setting good boundaries stems from low self worth. Feeling like we're not enough keeps us searching outside of ourselves for something that can only be found within. So we continue to agree to commitments out of obligation hoping that we will earn our worth by what we do instead of who we are.
This can also show up in several ways, one of which is perfectionism (a personal challenge I've worked on overcoming). Perfectionism is low self-worth dressed up as an overachiever. This is the most destructive lie we tell ourselves – that if we're perfect, then we'll be worthy. The problem with this perfectionist mentality is that we exhaust ourselves with all the pressure we put on ourselves to reach this unattainable goal and end up burned out. We continue to try to "do-it-all" and end up resentful and bitter.
So what to do? How do we build our self-confidence in order to have strong boundaries and live with higher integrity?
I posed this question to my Empowered Living Group and this is what we came up with: self-care. Self-care cultivates confidence from the outside in.
In the fifth chapter of Ayurveda’s Charaka Samhita, it states:
Daily Routines (Dinacharya) that align us with Nature build character and confidence.
It's right there in the ancient texts – if you want to improve your body issues and self-esteem, your need to dial in your self-care habits. When you do, you attain svasta - the sanskrit word which means "seated in the self". It refers to the state of optimal health and balance in body and mind. To create svasta is to cultivate ease, peace, energy, vitality, and integrity.
There are 2 habits in particular that grow your self-worth and self love. I recorded my very first Facebook live video about it. You can watch it below.